Sai Darshan Home <darshan.html>
Date:18 Oct 1999 Occasion:Dasara Place:Prashanti Nilayam

Fascinating Memories of Swami's Childhood

When you give up ego, you become dear to one and all,
Grief will not touch you if you get rid of anger,
Freedom from desires brings peace,
You will be happy and blissful if you leave greed.
(Sanskrit Verse)

Embodiments of Love!

In the world, ego is a demonic quality. An egoistic person loses the
love of even his wife and children. As long as one has anger, one cannot
escape from misery. A person who has many desires can never be peaceful.
Similarly, a greedy man can have no happiness.

All are My Friends

Restraint of the mind is essential for everyone from the common man to
the celestial beings. Without such discipline, one cannot accomplish
even a trivial task however powerful one might be. Even though God is
omnipotent and omnipresent, He too adheres to certain rules and
regulations when He takes human form, for he behaves in a restrained
manner and thereby strives towards the uplift of humanity. Avatars like
Rama and Krishna too exercised considerable restraints while performing
their duties. Rama took three vows - His first vow was to have only one
wife. The second, to hit the target with one arrow. And the third, not
to break the promise once made. He never broke these vows. Lord Krishna
too took three vows: Dharma Samsthapanarthaya Sambhavami Yuge Yuge (I
will incarnate again and again to re-establish righteousness),
Yogakshemam Vahamyaham (I will look after the welfare of My devotees)
and Mokshayishyami Ma Shucha (I will grant liberation if you surrender
to Me).

I too have taken some vows. One of the vows of Sai is that I shall never
go back on My promise. Once I give My promise to someone, I will never
forsake him or distance him from Myself even though he may work against
Me or disobey My command. This is the nature of My love. There are many
people who received this promise from Swami and are enjoying peace and
happiness. Some of them were treacherous and tried to harm Swami. But
Swami never harmed or hated them. I have never hated anyone till date. I
do not know what hatred is. Hatred is, in fact, a perversion of the
mind. I wish that no one should come to harm. Then why should anyone
have feelings of hatred towards Swami? It is the consequence of the
Samskaras (inherent tendencies) of their previous births. No one can
escape the consequences of his deeds, come what may. Everyone has to
reap the consequences of his/her evil deeds. Only those who have
feelings of love in them can understand the sweetness and power of love.
Swami has no enemy in the world. All are My friends. I am a friend of
even those who deny My friendship.

Power of Devotion and Surrender

The Vedas say: Brahmavid Brahmaiva Bhavati (the knower of Brahman
becomes verily Brahman). You become what you think or contemplate on.
Darwin was a great scientist. He was known for his good qualities and
broadmindedness. Henslow was his favorite teacher and friend. He
religiously followed Henslow's teachings and imbibed his manners and
personality traits. Consequently, he started looking like Henslow. At
one time, some of their friends saw both the preceptor and the disciple
together at one place. They could not make out who was Darwin and who
was Henslow. You read in the Bhagavata that Prahlada was the son of a
demon. But as he contemplated on the name of Lord Hari constantly, his
face reflected the brilliance of Lord Hari. Ratnakara was a ruthless
dacoit. Inspired by the teachings of seven Rishis, he started chanting
the name of Lord Rama. Consequently, his face reflected the effulgence
of Lord Rama. You worship Rama as the creator, sustainer and redeemer of
the world. At the same time, you recognize the heights reached by
Ratnakara - who later came to be known as Valmiki - as the foremost poet
and the author of the great epic Ramayana. In fact, the power of
devotion and surrender is so great that it is difficult to describe it.
No one can estimate the sweetness of love. So, never hate anyone.

Anger, hatred and jealousy are demonic qualities. These qualities should
be annihilated and human values should be cultivated. Sathya and Dharma
are chief human values. That is why the Vedas proclaim: Sathyannasti
Paro Dharma (there is no Dharma greater than truth) and Sathyam Vada
Dharmam Chara (speak the truth and adhere to righteousness). You should
follow this command of the Vedas. But today's man is disregarding Sathya
and Dharma and taking to the path of untruth and unrighteousness,
thereby destroying his humanness. First and foremost, you should
practice Sathya and Dharma. It is impossible to describe the power of
Sathya and Dharma. The entire creation emerged from truth and would
ultimately merge into truth. The Vedas therefore exhort that man should
imbibe this quality of Sathya. Truth is a Sathwic quality. This should
find place in your heart. Contrary to this, modern man is filling his
heart with negative qualities. Can such a man be called a human being in
the real sense of the term? In this context, I relate to you certain
incidents of My childhood days.

Childhood Days of Swami

When I was a young boy, many children aged 5-7 years used to come to Me
to play and sing Bhajans. I used such occasions to teach them the
cannons of righteous conduct. I would tell them: "Your mother gave birth
to you bearing all the difficulties and discomfort. She nourished you in
her womb for nine long months. Your father brought you up against all
odds. So, love your parents. That is your foremost duty. Adhere to truth
under all circumstances. Do not try to cover up your faults due to the
fear that your parents will reprimand you. Do not tell lies. Let your
parents rebuke you or even beat you. It does not matter. You speak the
truth only." The power of truth surpasses the power of atom bomb and
hydrogen bomb. There is no greater weapon than truth. But you should
know how truth should be uttered. Anudvegakaram Vakyam Sathyam
Priya-hitham Cha Yat (speak truth in such a way that it is pleasing and
does not annoy others). You should not utter harsh words.

When children grew a little older and entered their seventh or eighth
year, they asked Swami questions about right conduct. I told them to
eschew anger, hatred, jealousy and ostentation. Naturally, kids relish
food and some kids try to steal whenever they find some dish of their
liking. I used to tell them, "Don't try to steal anything. In case you
have a genuine need for food, a book or a pen, you should ask your
classmates and get it. But never take anything without their knowledge."

In those days, there were many Muslims in this village. They used to
celebrate Moharram. Some Hindus too used to join them. I used to tell
the children, "Morality is more important than the mode of worship or
religion. Morality is our life force. Hence forget the religious
differences and make friends with everybody. You too should participate
in this festival." One boy said, "Raju, I belong to the Brahmin
community. My parents will not permit me to participate in the
celebration of Moharram." I said, "You are a human being. You belong to
the human race. Your caste is the caste of humanity. Your religion is
the religion of humanity. Keep this in your mind."

When the parents came to know that I was telling their children to give
up the differences of caste and religion they started quarrelling with
Me. "Raju, why do you spoil our children by telling them that there
should not be any differences on the basis of caste or religion? Is it
fair on your part?" they argued. "There is no greater religion than the
religion of love in this world," I told them firmly. I was not afraid of
anything. Why should truth be afraid of anything? By adhering to truth
one can achieve anything.

One day, the children had a discussion. "Raju is telling us many good
things. Are we putting into practice at least one of them?" they
questioned each other. One boy said, "I am trying my best to speak the
truth under all circumstances." Another boy said, "God is my beloved. He
is my mother, He is my father and He is my life." His name was Kesanna.
He was the son of Buggapalli Acchamma. She used to eke out a livelihood
by selling Beedis and cigarettes in a small kiosk. "It is not possible
to put into practice all the teachings of Raju, but I feel happy to
listen to his words," said another boy. "So sweet are Raju's words. How
can we refrain from listening to Him? Raju is very dear to me," another
boy commented. "Do you alone love Raju? Don't we love Him?" other
children questioned him. In this way, the children showed their love for
Me and My teachings.

Subbamma Realizes Swami's Divinity

One day, we all visited Karanam Subbamma's house. She was a pious lady
with a broad mind. "Raju, you have brought all these children. But I
didn't cook anything for you. You all come again tomorrow. I will keep
something ready for you to eat," she said. That day, she prepared
Sambhar and rice thinking that I would relish it. I told the children to
observe limits since she belonged to Brahmin community and it was not so
easy for her to give up the differences of caste or religion. She
brought rice and Sambhar in a vessel and served food in the hands of
children. They all had a hearty meal. She knew that I would not be
satisfied if I was fed first and I would be satisfied only when other
children were fed first. So she first served them. At the end, only a
small quantity of rice was left. She felt bad for not being able to feed
Me properly and put that rice into My mouth. "She served food in our
hands whereas she fed Raju with her own hands. What is the reason?", the
children started whispering. I said, "Subbamma, your act has annoyed the
children." She turned to the children and said, "I love you all equally.
But Raju feels satisfied when all of you are fed first. So, I served
food to you first. In the end, only a small quantity of rice was left.
It was not enough even to make a morsel. So, instead of serving in His
hand, I put the rice in His mouth. Raju feels satisfied only when
everyone else is satisfied. That is His nature. There is not a trace of
selfishness in Him. You all should emulate Him. Give up selfishness and
self-interest and nurture love. You should believe that your happiness
lies in the happiness of your fellow human beings. Only then will you
prosper and become an example for others." Then she told me, "Raju, I
will prepare lemon rice tonight. So, go out and get me some curry
leaves." Under that pretext she sent Me out. I was then eight years old.
Though I was older than other children, yet I was the shortest of them
all. But I could climb up the trees well. I climbed up a tree and
plucked a branch of curry leaves as asked by Subbamma. Do you know why
she sent Me out? She wanted to tell the children about Me.

In My absence she told them, "Children, do you know how fortunate you
are to get the friendship of Raju! He is not an ordinary boy. One day,
He will become the king of kings and the emperor of emperors. You just
follow His command. Let it be any issue, do not disobey Him. If you do
so, all the gods will be angry with you. Derive happiness by making Him
happy. He won't express His unhappiness. But you have to face the
consequences if you do anything wrong. So, conduct yourselves in such a
way that He never feels dissatisfied."

Subbamma's husband had a second wife called Kamalamma. She said to
Subbamma, "Sister, how can these children understand the philosophy you
are teaching them?" Subbamma replied, "This is not philosophy at all. I
am simply telling the children how to conduct themselves in day-to-day
life. I have no children. So, I treat them as my own children. They are
companions of Raju who is my very life."

One day, Subbamma prepared Vadas in her house. As there were not
sufficient Vadas, which could be distributed to all the children, so she
wanted to give them to Me only. She went on to the terrace of her house
and called Me through a window as My house was adjacent to her house.
"Raju, Raju, come here at once." I ran to her. She handed over a small
packet through the window. I said, "Subbamma, it is not fair that you
should give something to Me alone. When you give, give to all the
children." "Forgive me, Raju, this time. From tomorrow, I will
distribute to everyone equally," she said. Swami kept that packet of
Vadas till evening and distributed a small quantity equally to all the
children. You know why Swami is telling all this. These are glimpses of
My love. It is beyond anybody's perception to understand the nature of
My love, equanimity and Divinity. My love is infinite. It cannot be
described in words. It is inexplicable. Some people misunderstand
Swami's love and ruin their life. Swami wants everybody to be happy.
Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu (May the entire world be happy!) No one
should undergo any suffering. That is My wish.

Swami's School Days

You all know Gunda Sathyanarayana of Bukkapatnam who visits this place
often. He is here now. He was My classmate. Look at him.

(Swami gestured to Sathyanarayana to come to the dais. Surprised by the
sudden invitation he faltered as he moved up to the platform and
prostrated before Swami. The audience went ecstatic and gave a loud
applause when Swami lovingly introduced His childhood friend and asked
him to speak. Sri Sathyanarayana described how Swami had been showering
His love and affection on him from His childhood days. Later Swami
continued His discourse.)

I along with some other boys used to go to school in Bukkapatnam. We
were studying in 5th Standard. My family was very poor. Other children
of this village too were poor. Mother Easwaramma used to prepare Ragi
balls. Making a small pit in the Ragi balls, she used to keep groundnut
chutney in it. In those days, there were no tiffin carriers or boxes.
So, the food was packed in a cloth. I would carry it on My back to
Bukkapatnam. We would run to the nearby tank as soon as the lunch bell
rang at 12 noon. It was not possible to unpack the food immediately as
it would get stuck with the cloth. We would keep the pack in water for
some time before unpacking it. As soon as we started eating the food,
the school bell would ring again indicating the closing of the lunch
period. One of the children was the son of a wealthy man. He was an
intelligent student. He used to bring rice and Sambhar. He would
distribute the food he brought among the children. I too would
distribute the Ragi balls. That is how we enjoyed unity both in eating
and playing. There is immense happiness in unity. But today unity and
love are absent in the educated people; instead, jealousy and hatred are
on the rise. People quarrel with each other even on flimsy matters. I
used to teach the children not to fight under any circumstances.

During My stay in Bukkapatnam school, I composed many poems. I composed
a poem on Bukkapatnam town also. (Swami sang this beautiful poem
composed by Him in His childhood.)

Captivating is the river Chitravathi
Encircling the land with full flow
And yonder the rising range of hillocks
Guards the land like a fortress.
Studded in this landscape is the town of Bukkapatnam
Like the crown jewel of Bukkaraya's glory,
At the center dwells Mother Chitravathi Devi
And there lies close by My Puttapuram.
(Telugu Song)

When Swami composed songs and taught to the children, they felt very
happy. They wondered at My composing skills and asked: "Raju, how did
you acquire these poetic talents?" In the Bukkapatnam school prayer was
held in the morning. The headmaster told Swami to compose songs for the
morning prayer. (Swami sang the prayer song He used to sing during those
days.)

Even in those days of My childhood, I Preached unity of all religions.
The villagers of Puttaparthi used to call Me a Vedanti (one endowed with
knowledge of the Vedas).

Later, when I was studying in Uravakonda, I had to share the desk in My
class with two other students. I used to sit in the middle, flanked by
Ramesh and Suresh on either side. They were very dull students. It was
next to impossible for them to get even one mark out of hundred. I used
to help them in our class. In those days, there was a public examination
called E.S.L.C. We were required to appear in this examination. But
Suresh and Ramesh were gripped with fear when they came to know of this.
All the time they were beseeching Swami, "Raju, you are our savior."
"Don't get scared. Be bold," I told them. Even in those days I used to
infuse courage in children.

In the examination hall, the invigilators supplied the blank papers. The
examinees were not allowed to carry any piece of paper. The teachers
screened the children thoroughly as they suspected that some of the
students might have kept in their pockets some slip or written something
on their palms. Meanwhile, one teacher came and said to the other
teacher, "Kondappa, who do you think these students are? They belong to
Raju's group. They will not resort to any copying in the examination."
The other teacher said, "I know. It is evident from the brilliance of
His face."

We all went into the hall. That was our first examination. As our
numbers were not in sequence, we were sitting at three different places
in the hall, far away from each other. Ramesh and Suresh lost all hope.
Then I told them, "I will write your answer sheets also. Don't panic! Do
as I say. I will play a drama. When I am the director of the cosmic
drama, can't I bail you out!"

First I wrote down the answers with great speed and folded them after
writing My name and number. I kept the papers aside. Then I wrote the
answers in Ramesh's handwriting, and noted down his name and number. In
the same way, I answered all the questions in Suresh's handwriting. I
kept all these three sets of answer sheets with Me. Meanwhile, the bell
rang. The invigilators were in a hurry to collect the papers. Ramesh and
Suresh were looking for Me. I told them to go out of the hall. They went
out without giving their papers and I kept all the three sets of papers
on the table of the examiner. Results were announced after one week.
Only we three got first class and secured cent per cent marks. "Very,
very, very good" were the remarks of our headmaster. Ramesh and Suresh
expressed their gratitude by saying, "Raju, we got first class because
of you only."

Revelations of Divinity

There was a 70 years old man named Subbarayudu. He used to visit the
temple of Sathyabhama regularly. He would wash his feet and sit on the
raised surface there. One day, I was passing that way. "Raju, Raju, come
here," he called. When I went near him and asked him what he wanted, he
said, "I am a hefty man. You can sit on my lap and relax for some time.
It is broad enough." "What benefit do you derive if I sit on your lap?"
I asked. "I cannot explain it. The benefit is infinite and magnificent.
Raju, you are the light of this village Puttaparthi. In future, your
glory will reach every nook and corner of the world."

The words uttered by him on that day have become a reality today. The
name and fame of Raju and the glory of this village Puttaparthi have
reached everywhere not only in this country but also in the entire
world. In those days, it was a tough task to reach this place even for
wayfarers. Such a tiny hamlet has attained a highly significant place in
the world map. Subbarayudu could predict that this village would have a
glorious future. He had no children. He embraced Me warmly and said,
"Raju, how fortunate I am to get this opportunity of embracing You." He
felt very happy. "But Your father and I are not on talking terms. So,
Your father may not like if he comes to know that I have spoken to You.
Don't tell him," he requested Me. "There is nothing wrong in it. I wilI
speak the truth. My father is a good man," I said.

When I reached home, the father of this body questioned Me, "Why did you
speak to Subbarayudu? He is my foe." "He may be a foe to you but not to
Me. That is why I spoke to him." I folded My hands with respect and
said, "Elderly people like you should never hate anybody. Give up
hatred, join hands with others and work for the development of this
village." He was not convinced, and again asked Me, "What did he speak
to You?" "He said that this village would illumine the entire world
because of My presence and glory," I replied. "What is Your glory
Subbarayudu is describing so greatly?" He was sarcastic in his remarks.
I left that place, brought flowers with both the hands and asked him,
"Do you know who I am?"

I am Sai, know the truth
Give up attachment and futile attempts
The worldly link between you and Me is severed.
No one can restrain Me
However mighty he might be.
(Telugu Song)

Saying this, I scattered the flowers on the floor. The flowers formed
themselves into Telugu letters- "Sri Sathya Sai Baba."

From then onward, the father of this body was careful while dealing with
Me. In this way, I used to preach not only to children but also to
elders. I would teach women and youth also. I told the youth to give
importance to character. They should not have evil feelings, which are
like poison. I taught great truths to even small children.

Sathyanarayana is a noble person. He had a small shop in Bukkapatnam.
One day, he saw My torn shirt. In those days, the price of both shirt
and shorts was nine paise only. He brought cloth for shirt and shorts
and said, "Raju, you should not feel otherwise. I have brought this pair
with great love. You get them stitched." "If you want to maintain good
friendship with Me permanently, you should not offer them to Me. I won't
touch them," I said.

Till date I have never desired anything. I have not touched even a
single paisa of anyone. Things come to Me on their own unasked whenever
the necessity arises. I have never stretched My hand before anybody from
My childhood till now and this will be the norm in the future also. I
feel happy in giving and not in receiving. Some people may criticize Me
out of jealousy if they don't get their desires fulfilled according to
their expectation. If they criticize loudly, their accusations get
scattered in the air. If they do it silently, they will be the
recipients of that criticism and not Swami; it will never reach Me. I
don't hate, criticize or ridicule anyone. I would lovingly speak to even
those who mocked at Me in My childhood days.

Swami Keeps His Word to Subbamma

One day, Subbamma came to Me and said jovially, "Raju, You are giving
many good useful pieces of advice to innumerable people. My husband is
on the wrong path. Why don't You set him right?"

"I will do if you don't feel otherwise," I told her. He used to sit near
a basil plant in front of his house every evening. I composed a song in
a pleasing tune. I taught the song to some children and asked them to
pass before the Karanam (Subbamma's husband) singing: "Don't run after
bad women, you will become a vile fellow; it is for certain. People of
your community will excommunicate you; relatives will drive you away.
Friends will slap you in the face with sandals." (Telugu Song) The
Karanam got annoyed when he saw the children passing that way singing
this song. He went inside. Later, he sent word for the children. "I
wonder who wrote this song for you?" he asked them. "Raju wrote it," the
scared children blurted out.

He too knew that I was behind the drama and no one else could do it. The
next day he called Me, offered some mangoes and said, "Raju, please
don't teach such songs to children" I said, "Sir, you are the head of
this village, you are not supposed to do such things."

He promised that he would behave well henceforth, I too gave word to him
that I would not trouble him any more. Subbamma came to know of this and
felt very happy. I brought transformation in elderly people in those
childhood days too. After the demise of her husband, Subbamma dedicated
her life to Swami. She was in Swami's service till she breathed her
last. It is essential for you to know how devoted she was to Me. She
used to provide free food to devotees. One day, we were travelling in a
bullock cart. "Subbamma, what do you want?" I asked her. She looked
around and noticed that no one else was there. Then she said, "Swami, I
don't want anything. But when I breathe my last, please sanctify my life
by pouring water into my mouth with Your hands." I promised that I would
fulfil her desire.

Later, one day I had to go to Chennai in a hurry as desired by some
devotees. I had to stay there for ten days. It was the war period. Once
in every hour there used to be air-raid siren. The streets would become
empty with that warning. Swami could not return to Puttaparthi.
Meanwhile, Subbamma fell seriously ill. She was taken to Bukkapatnam.
There she died. Her relatives started making sarcastic remarks: "Sai
Baba gave word to her that He would pour water into her mouth at her
last moments. Did He come? Where has He gone?"

During My return journey, I stopped at the cremation ground as it was on
the way. I saw some people there. The logs of wood were kept ready for
cremation. "Who is going to be cremated?" I asked them. Washerman
Subbanna was there. He said, "Swami, Subbamma died." "Is it! When did
she die?" I enquired. "Three days ago, Swami," he replied. I went to the
house where her body was kept. Her relatives were about to carry her for
cremation. Her sister saw Me and started wailing. "Baba, she longed for
Your arrival. She yearned that You would pour water into her mouth
before she breathed her last. At last she died with that
disappointment." I told her that there was no possibility for such an
eventuality and asked her to fetch water in a tumbler. I put a basil
leaf in the water and I removed the cloth from her face. Ants were
crawling over her body as three days had already elapsed. "Subbamma," I
called her. Immediately she opened her eyes. She held My hands and wept.
"Subbamma, look here", I said. I wiped tears from her face with a towel.
"Now close your eyes peacefully," I told her. I poured the sacred water
into her mouth and kept My promise.

Eradicating Differences of Caste and Community

Subbamma always tried to protect Me from wicked people. Washerman
Subbanna was a very strong man. The other Subbanna of Chandrappa was
seven feet tall. Subbamma ordered that one of these two should be always
with Me. She told them, "Swami might go to the river at any time. He is
very young. He cannot walk down the distance. So, one of you should
carry Him on your shoulders." She used to make several arrangements for
my comfort. She was a highly virtuous woman. Whatever she did she used
to do it in such a way that pleased Swami most.

One day, a Harijan by name Ganganna invited Me to his house at mealtime.
He is still alive. He is 90 years old now. His son is now working in our
administrative office. I told Subbamma that I was going to Ganganna's
house to eat food. She said that she too would accompany Me. "I am going
to a Harijan's house. You don't come," I said. "Swami, when You are
going, why shouldn't I come. I know no fear. I will accompany You," she
told Me. We ate at Ganganna's house. Ganganna was scared when he saw her
as she belonged to Brahmin community. I told him, "You should not feel
like that. Give up the differences of caste and religion. Live happily
with the spirit of unity." From those days itself I started promoting
unity among different castes and religions. I can go on telling about My
childhood days for any length of time.

Children should nurture good qualities. They should give up bad
qualities like anger, ostentation and jealousy. They should not allow
the ego to grow. Cultivate love. It should be your life-breath. Without
love, you are as good as a living corpse. In any situation do not leave
love. With love, you can conquer the whole world.

[Bhagavan concluded His Discourse with the Bhajan, "Prema Mudita Manase
Kaho Ram, Ram, Ram..."]

------------------------------------------------------------------------